A Suicide Note from the Grave

I saw myself in a brown wooden box,
inside it my pale numb body lay still
wrapped in white fabric and excruciating pain,
a black veil covered my face,
ears burning in a summertime sadness,
my lips quivering to the dull beats
of the slow sand pouring above me

darkness crawling into my cage,
a new home in the flesh of earth,
my eyes floating on lost hopes,
head beating with wounded horse’s gallops,
black blood dripping out of my nose
forming pools in my ears

my daughter stood near the putrid pit choking on words I never told her,
clutching tightly at her rosary
her vision partially blurred
by tears rolling down her cheeks,
breath came in ragged shallow gasps,
her sun fallen right in front of her,
all her cards scattered across the mud,
spades, diamonds facing up,
aces stolen by the piper at dusk gates,
hearts shredded inside my house of suffering

agony seared around an approaching demon
as laughing bats hovered above the escapade
singing me to sleep with a soft serenade slumber song,
no forever to behold
no one around to withhold

then a loud whisper from a drunk priest’s mouth
‘ashes to ashes’

a memorial which occurs in every thought of me
till eternity
‘dust to dust’

stars tracing dark fingerprints on my heart
evidences of the wars I had fought in
slowly crawling out of oblivion into reality
to feed on the emblems of my sanity, racing thoughts sailing in future clarity

now we are found in the dark pages of an old book
sunk in wailing whispers and broken dreams
hiding behind the last words of a bitter letter
sometime in a grave moonless night
bleeding into the shadows cast by candlelight
faulty lamps humming in the hallway
oppressed by the steady shade of grey
like an awful weight on a beggar’s shoulder
darkness hissing excitement into our ears
cloaked by twilight’s blackness
muscles cramped inside a gilded cage
immersed in the reassuring embrace of a forgotten love song
a thick blanket clinging to every inch of our pale skin
a foe dressed in the woes of a friendly stranger
an unknown map leading us to a black hole
wishing for a shooting star to stick its hands into our solemn pools
cast a spell on the coal corners of our hearts
for we are all travellers on a journey
navigating across midnight’s myths
utterly obscured by our densely clouded heads
seeking solace in the crude rhymes of a sad poem

a look into the tear stained face
of a lonely soul
holding tight on the forever you invented
when you first looked into my eyes luring me into your passion seas
with the storms of your love

no words were exchanged,
no letter was left between us
when you broke your vow,
a void filled up the space leaving me in a wild party of one
carrying pepper balls and nothing inside,
all that was left was nothing but resentment, an acrid stench of blood lingering in my nostrils and burning depression episodes

you were betrayal looming in a distance,
a black charm hiding behind that smile,
that damn smile,
an interlude between going into an open room
and getting high on every last of your words
in a land of shadows and deceit
stopping once in a while to quench
at these bitter waters
full of empty promises and citrus lies
flowing down the shoulders of a broken valley,
a breaking soul in her chest
and gallons of lost hope
in her bruised stomach

mounting chronic hallucinations in the skin of our minds
building castles and burning down bridges
above rivers which once were, forever dried up
by the love and tides of seasons
trapped in the wake of a dream
across twilight’s deadness and nightmares
brewed in a conscious sedation

and maybe this is the sweetest poison
i’d ever partake on a Christmas eve