STORM

As the silence captivates me in this wrap

The absence of the light lifts me up

Until the gears of my mind begin to tire up from insomniac torture

I’m so unsure about my blurry future

Especially after my past has just been nothing but trauma

I’m numb and caught in this state of coma

I can’t think of anything cleaner

I’ve just been the worst sinner

I’m an impure allergy

Go assemble the clergy

I don’t need cleansing though

Nothing can make these sins go

Not even a baptism by cold fire

I’ve been a cheat and a liar

I’m unclean down to the atom

I need a Christ for my storm

She’s been on my wings all this time, less human

Made me Clerk, to soup her man

I guess she’s just one of these gamers around

And I was the coach, both on one playground

She needed a back to stab

She ended up playing bulb

The light to my darkness she became

Never thought that was just part of the game

Can’t deny, it was fun

Maybe all girls want is a fan

She knew that I was ill

To a Klaus she played Camille

She lacked attention from that freak

It was always wavy here cause I was sick

Had a clean track record

That’s how we tied the chord

She was a wildflower that wanted to grow

Not knowing her thorns would heal a foe

Yet she was the best the cavity of my chest ever sprouted

And remains the most beautiful flower I have ever picked

She was a flower that found a crack in my heart

She healed all the wounds in it

She just couldn’t move in

I lay dead in that dusty inn

As I took my final breath, I had to be brave

Knowing no flowers will be placed upon my grave

It wasn’t a choice, despite what you might think

Sorry I let her down, I just wanted to blink

I remember the days our lips moved in sync

The air seemed so pure and the sky was pink

But as I knew she would never be saved

I inflicted the final cut and got what I craved

An old acquaintance to deepen my silence

A risky quest for a forever absence

I had the option of choosing a triangular home

But I dived right into the silent storm .

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OUTLANDER

4.27 a.m.
 Do you envy black stars?
The dead, monsters?
Do you want to see my scars?

The dark elf, in the lonely shelf ?

Cut!
Stop that

Start again
Feel the pain
Put it in your last line

Do this like you’re being paid
Go ahead
Bring them to life, they’re dead
Feel every single word
Let your emotions bleed

First of all, blink
Seems you had a heavy drink
This is certainly not what you think

 
I’m an intrusion, the thief in the congregation
I’m an invasion, the plague within the saints
I’m an illusion, the dead amongst the living
I’m a delusion, the wolf inside the black sheep 
Or maybe I’m just an alien, walking these streets
A ghost, writing these pieces
A mirage, swimming in this wet desert
A flame, dancing in this dry storm
I doubt these walls hear this screaming silence
I doubt this pillow feels this wetness
I doubt this darkness sees this emptiness
Chemicals in my brain betray me
This deluge of thoughts murder me slowly
I feel like someone’s ever watching me
I don’t know, behind the curtains
In the ceiling, maybe
Under my bed
Inside my head
Staring at me
Calling me
I don’t know how much longer
How much longer before I’m a goner
I’ve held on for long enough already
So long that the horror show is now comedy
Well, the audience isn’t entertained anymore
It’s furious probably
Everyone wants to jump on stage
It’s about to get bloody out here
Is this a community of cursed worshippers?
Have we failed some spiritual vocation or something?
Are we bunches of sin masquerading in human bodies?
Does He even hear us anymore?


We repent in vain
Darkness has sunk in our veins
Listen to the wind howling
Listen to the owl whistling
This disconnect is a reality
Our skies are empty
We are a subtle mistake
The rot in world’s cake
The fault isn’t in the dust that begot us
It’s in the star that watched us rise
Its shade is rusting
Its fragrance is darkening
The moon has become its foe
It’s looking down in awe
Regret is written across its backbone
The blue fragile horizon
She’s empty and torn
We shouldn’t have been born
Can’t you see the sun mourn?
It wakes up to cry during the days
Can’t you feel its brutal rays?
You can at least see the ache in my tears
The pain in my fading hazel eyes
The blood smeared across my crevices
The underlying fears in my weaknesses
There is blank truth in my lies
And a real monster behind my cries
Her name is fake smile
Her name is harsh mile
Her name is cut them off before them
Her name is lock yourself up in the room
Her name is stay away you creep
Her name is cry yourself to sleep
No one likes you, you’re just a flu
Agile viper, cruel in disguise
 She’s covered in lumps of grease
 I know who she is
She is queen paranoia
The ugly insomnia
The rising dementia
I’d have written her a love letter
She prefers blood to valentines dinner
Lights out, let me feed her
Then return her to the tether
4.47 a.m. Someone’s around, mightier
 I feel her here

Somewhere

Hello, is anyone out there?

UNHOLY CONFESSIONS

Hi priest, it’s me again
My name is nobody, fatigue, pain
The lost INFJ, the rarest of unicorns
I don’t need cleansing tonight
I need you to listen to me

“Tell me son”


Just every single word I have to say
Maybe your gods know what I really am

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy

Maybe this is my inevitable nemesis
I am stranded at this harbourless ocean
I am drowning in this sea of grief
I am riding on my waves of thoughts
I am just trying rather so hard to hang on
I am a liar, I keep telling myself that I am okay
I am a rock so full of cracks
I have these issues
Problems that make me not know where to start mentioning them
Is my situation psychological or emotional instability?
Am I a sissy ?
Am I just one of these narcissists around?
Before I used to be afraid of being alone
Now I am just afraid of having to exist
Walking through these dark streets of life
Lonely, forgotten and misunderstood

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy

I am too weak and emotional
I don’t know how to hide my feelings of affection
I don’t know how to give less of what I have
I just think they deserve my heart wholly
Despite how dark it could be sometimes
I find it hard to accept what they have to give in return
I believe I am not worthy of their signals of affection
I just want to bless them all the time
Even if it means breaking me
I am rather too extra
I jump into these many conclusions whenever  they hit my sensitive spot
With these so many insecurities

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy

I love jealously
I don’t want to see them with anyone else
I want them to be with me alone
I am torn between walking away from them cause maybe they are just using me for their selfish gains
And staying in order to help them change
That’s why I come crushing down most of the times
I rarely fall in love but once I do, I just don’t want to let go
I give them the benefit of the doubt all the time
I trust them so much that when they hurt me, even my pieces are broken



I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy

I am scared
What if I am a sociopath?
I give so much attention that it seems to be love bombing
I’m so clingy
I just don’t know how to give less
I am ever trying rather too hard to have them stay in my life
Does that make me manipulative?
Well, nobody taught me how to love
I just love naturally
In the ways nature taught me
Without rules and regulations
I love freely without brakes
I am extra with my feelings
I am ever giving and wouldn’t mind doing that in a hundredfold

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy

Maybe that’s why she still stuck with her old partner ?
She couldn’t move in with me because I told her I wouldn’t give her the world
Well, I didn’t lie
The world isn’t mine to give
I promised her history instead; my past, my present and my future
Those still weren’t enough
She made me cheat on her
This new girl tells me am better off alone
She locks me up in a room
She kisses me with these vivid imaginations 
She arouses herself with my screaming thoughts
She opens these tabs in my mind all the time and whenever I close one, she opens a million others
She makes me feel so incomplete that I feel like am an illusion
Her name is anxiety
She makes me invisible sometimes
I wonder if I exist
Am I here, am I there?
Wait, you haven’t been listening all this time?
No one does, after all

I really am crazy


This was my last shot at life before I kill myself


Goodbye, priest .

You Deserve Happiness

It’s ridiculous how sorrow strikes sometimes
It hits hard, harshly and hungrily
It breaks everything
I know you have been putting up fake smiles all these years
I know you have been trying rather too hard to appear happy
I know you have lived every single day of your life recently feeling misunderstood
I know life despite it’s unfair nature, has been more unfair to you
It has left you with  questions without answers
You are questioning your sanity
You are questioning your very reason to remain alive
You are questioning your role in existence
You are probably questioning God
You even think you are a wrong incarnation
Everything to you seems so fake
The smile in your group snaps hiding your grief
The sarcasm in your expressions covering your depression
You’ve mechanically made the people around you believe that you are living your best life ever
But deep down you know the opposite is so true, you are not
You are ailing from past harsh experiences
You were once fresh
Some events, like icebergs, just came crushing you down
You fell, so hard that the devil wept
You are aching for brighter futures
You yield so much to anxiety because your future doesn’t look as easy as anyone else’s
No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop thinking of failure possibilities
You see doom everyday
You have normalized pain
It’s probably your best friend right now
You are quite a pair anyway
You even dance with it when they think you are happy
You smile with it as you cry behind the darks
It chokes you on the wall sometimes when no one can see
Your melancholy arouses it
You feed it that way


Maybe I am not the right person to tell you this cause who am I anyway?
Just one of these many writers who just don’t get it?
Well, I’d be a hypocrite to compare our sorrows
It’s not mine to call
But it hurts me to know that you are going through it
It hurts me to know that you think you are not enough
It hurts me so much knowing you think you are not worthy of love or any kind of affection
It really hurts that anyone has to go through so much pain while the solution lies within them
I wouldn’t say that it’s all in the mind because it is not!
It’s in your frequent tears, your aching bones, your burning heart, your sad face
It’s written all over you in uppercase maybe
Here’s the plot twist
You can be good, if you want
Because no one is awful, we all want to be good
Feed your soul with positive thoughts
You were not meant to be sad all your life
You were meant to be broken for a season
The pain is overwhelming, yes
Conversely, that’s how the light gets in
Through the crevices
You learn lessons that normal people would only read from such works of art by people who go through it and/or already overcame it
It’s in our darkest that; we know who to trust, we separate allies from mediocre, we find love
It’s in our darkness that our stars shine
Healing is not linear
You will stumble severally along the way
You will even doubt your quest for recovery
But every moment, through every bruise or scrape, you will gather strength to move closer to becoming the person that you are meant to become
Your journey doesn’t have to be similar to any other person’s
You are enough and worthy of love
You deserve the smile you have right now, a genuine one
You deserve peace in your mind and calmness of your heart
Don’t just settle for pain because it seems to be the new clique in town
Well, if it is, then you can do much better
You deserve a better squad
I honestly don’t know who you are but this is it;
You deserve happiness!

LOVE IS ENOUGH

The society has greatly underestimated the power of love. People are opting for selfish ways in their quests for survival ending up hurting others and themselves in the long run. Many people are bruised due to the cruelty that the human race as a whole is spreading. However, this is bound to change if you reading this right now would actually take the initiative to face what others are running away from; love.

We’re not going to stay the sane person, we’re not always going to know what we want or where we’re headed. We are sometimes going to be unsure, unsteady, and that’s perfectly okay. Because we are human and that’s what being human is about — continual growth and discovery and ups and downs along the way. That shouldn’t be excuse for enmity, rather a channel towards communal bonding.

No one is awful, we all want to be good. Just because someone was mean to you, it doesn’t give you the go-ahead to be mean to be others. Loving should be our default, our go-to, our immediate tag. We give without expecting anything in return. Love is that kind. We love still even when they don’t love us back or ever will.
It all starts with the closest person to you; yourself. Love yourself enough to understand what you deserve, your worth and what a fellow human deserves.

Sometimes all this ailing world needs is a tightly squeezing hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Love does not belong to a certain association. Love is not of a given tribe. Love has no gender. Love is not a particular race. Love is not a specific religion.Let’s make earth a better planet to live in. We can be kind; one kindness at a time.
Love is underrated ffs
Love is enough !

The Story of Us

An owl on my shoulder is my only companion tonight

As my words bleed profusely  into the eyes of my readers

Its whispers begin to trace the journey we’ve made so far

Through the waves life placed in our sea

That drains into this enchanted piece

This is one of those hymns that splashes life across the morgue,
Smiles onto all mourners gathered in a funeral
And joy upon that one beggar in the rain

As I pay my last tributes,
 I know our souls sit on a throne beside the stars
Whose sparkles remind me about the  blessing that you are to me

In all the moments we shared
And all the  memories we’ve ever made

Before your hands grabbed my body
Your love grabbed my soul

Our fingers are still entwined like that afternoon

That one rainy afternoon,
When I walked into your residence
With empty whitewashed walls that provided no condolence

As I took the sight of you,
sprawled up in bed
Looking fragile, with papery pale skin
Even though the few traces of flesh made your bones limpid

Yet when you saw me, your eyes lit up, your face dimpled
With a smile so painfully beautiful
That it made those last moments with you blissful

You took my face in your hands

I felt your fingertips on my temple
The curve of my jaws
The back of my neck

“Breathe.” You said, “Just keep breathing.”

Your hands touched my chest and I felt your warmth against my heart, my lungs

Shadows touched our fingers
We heard them mention
How daylight triggered
A quiver up our spine
And a strange sensation of ecstasy
Or the sun, like sand
Scratching at our skins

“Love me right here.” I whispered,
 “In between my bones and skin.”
You knew how to set a light in my heart and mind; the most beautiful chaos

You touched me right
Under those dim lights
When you stripped off my insecurities

Drinking in, sip by sip, my naked soul

With jussive hands

Exploring the depths of my darkness

As I cried out my trials and tribulations

Overwhelmed by your unconditional love

That kissed off my tears before my lips

Entwining our lives before our fingers

Giving resurgence to the bird caged within

And for the first time in forever
We’re soaring high, higher
With your wings, in an eternal sky

And even when I lost my feathers
You never stopped believing in my ability to fly

Even if I won’t hold you again
I feel safe knowing you’ll keep living your life inside my heart,
A place guarded by swords of fire,
Decorated with immense flames of poetry

“And we’ll beat together always.” We both whispered, “Beat with me forever.”

For we are lovers; meant to be together.

Night of Words

He wanted to dream, so he closed his eyes

All he saw were words

Beautifully dancing on the floor of his insanity

He envied peace from all the broken promises; the underlying pieces

He desired mending of his heart crevices

He wanted to write about silence

The words sane people can’t say

He opted to write about darkness

The beautiful absence of light
 
The things blind people can see

The magical paradise of fallen angels

The dark night streets, ringing with racing hearts drenched in fear

It was time to change

The rotten minds which judge writers on what we jot down

The freakiest shows we put up, titled “depression”, “crazy love”, “anxiety”

Because we are all cannibals
Drinking in our own tears
Feeding upon our own hearts
Salvaging our own souls

While feeding the global readers

With shots in the dark, the pinching words

Triggering screams of agony

Cries of overwhelming feelings

From massacred corpses of artists

Lying lifeless on the floor carpeted with blood

He wanted to write about dreams

The visions that don’t go past the sheets

He opted to write about love

The pieces broken hearts hold on to

She was the best of actors
As the show advanced,
With songs composed of pseudo protection
Exhibiting the dance of death
With dancers swaying to the beats of apparent love
As the show climaxes, the survivor exits
With a hollow victory
Leaving destruction, loss, pain
Dilapidated garnets and smoke in his heart
She fled from his atmosphere
 
A funeral of thoughts grew within him

Not even the noose around his neck could take away his breath as quick as she did

They were a perfect impression of a shattered fairytale

Though they stood on different lands

They had slept under the same sky

Their hearts melted
Under the brutal rays of the sun

Their souls mated
In the dim lights of the stars

Listening to the moon’s lullaby

Kissing poison in broad daylight
 
Was not as hard as

Harbouring the guilt of killing his girl

Almost a month ago

With angry, drunk words

He was an endless stretch of land

With no grass growing in sand

Telling her she wasn’t all that he needed

Yet with sincere eyes brimming with love indeed

She had watered and ploughed his fields
 
Improving the quality of his yields

She now fears love, a darkness that stretches to infinity

It casts a gloom over her vicinity

It has wrapped its cold fingers around her neck

Suffocating her, reducing her into a wreck
 
Lucifer has shed tears in the ruins of his heart

He has buried who he used to be in the sea of grief

He has his hands choking on his neck

He’s aroused
He’s enraged

He is smiling behind the shadows

Stabbing his own back and licking the blade

He is the debris of melancholy dancing with doom in a night of words .

Because loving you was Red

Take me way back to when we met amid crossroads

Under that afternoon sun

Beside a blue wrought iron gate

It all started with a smile

That damn charming smile

The thrill
The chill

When I looked into your eyes and you looked into mine

Your happiness was like a web of spun sugar

Drawing me into your universe

Where all was love, light and laughter

The moon, the stars were already fast asleep

But you’d kiss me as if my lips were air and you couldn’t breathe without them

Our random talks resonated with complex emotions

You became the light to my darkness

The only star in my nights

I knew you were the one

These words are never enough

But they heal this soul

I wished you’d let me give you what you begged of him

It would’ve been so easy to give you everything

I guess, letting go is easier

When you’re spilling your heart on WP –

And everyone can see it then

Look at this hurt and how I try to survive

The bruises aren’t yet gone

So find and keep my words

Because they’re all that’s left

I gave you my everything

My body , my heart, my soul

All my energy, my emotions, my attention

I gave you all my loving

That just wasn’t enough
 Like impure blood you chucked me out of your heart

Like a cruel demon you cast me off your soul

Like vivid dreams your mind forgot my names

Like a poor lizard you made me crawl to your doorstep

And slammed the door

You walked away

So we ignore each other

And pretend the other doesn’t exist

But deep down we know it wasn’t meant to end like this

But what if I never get over you

What if I continue waking up everyday of my life
And I want you so badly

So badly that my bones shake so bad

What if I keep waiting for a call or a text

Or a sign from God

What if you were the one
Because loving you was red!

50 Best Albums of the Year 2017, Ranked

N.B.G.V

By Eóin Donnelly

I will always be an album guy.

With the advent and rapid domination of quick-and-easy streaming playlists, many say the album format is dying, a prediction that I hope is based more on hyperbolic hysteria than any tangible trend. From poolside sips to getting between the sheets to the highly unlikely scenario that I will ever need a walkout tune, I make playlists for all moods and occasions like there’s no tomorrow, but there simply is no musical experience quite like a brilliant album listened to from start to finish. In 2017 many albums blessed my ears, so much so that the backlog of projects I am yet to dip my feet into could be almost as long. Time is art’s greatest enemy. The list you will find below is based on nothing more than my own subjective opinion and the replayability factor of each…

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GRAVITY

I’m not sure at what point the ticking of the clock took over as the depth of insanity clearly orchestrating pain in the most beautiful way; written.


The most immense thing about beauty is finding it gone
When pride is fully grown
And meekness thrown into forsaken booths
Lost in throngs of truths
Simmered with resentment
Drying in discontentment
Capsized by chains of gravity
Sunk into undeniable reality
Some words just can’t be left unsaid
Some stories just can’t be left untold
This is his beautiful adage
He is just taking a long look over the edge
He knows tomorrow is another chance
A new dawn dance
It is in his face everyday
Like a scripted play
Maybe the air is better here because he knows one more step
To place his next leap
And it would be the last he ever tastes
He’s become the fuming shadow dusts
Ignore your fears for him, he is just whistling the same song; gravity
Laying awake all night pondering what life would be

If he never fell for her flatter
If he figured out what they enjoyed doing together
Everything was black and white

During the day and also the night
When they kissed,
He could taste the lies she told
And though his tongue searched deeper for more comfort

The blank spaces came forth
He only found more delusive tongues
She kept her deep feelings away from his ears
She hid her world away from his face
But as their eyes met in an intercourse of sparkles
Their hearts got bound in intimacy shackles
Their emotions began to intertwine with their hunger for love
A masterpiece was born and it exalted their souls in ecstasy
She just couldn’t see
 They became two souls– who wore masks in a room full of faceless people
They found a home
They found solace in a way that only they could fathom
He reposed utmost faith in her
In them
He let her win the war in him
But she chose to flee
He had her break his depressive walls
She chose to break his heart next
And as the lies remained white
His love for her faded in the night
In the mornings they sat in the heavy rain
So that maybe they’d drown in something other than pain
And so it was that he fell for the very pieces of her that she hadn’t learned to articulate just yet
That is what made them
That is what broke them
And he turned to her shivering and said with a heart full of remorse and eyes full of tears,
Remember when I was the only star in your nights. How none of them but I loved you. I gave you the confidence that you have now. Remember when I broke my own rules for you. When you were sick and no one else but I gave you attention .Now that they like the better you, you’ve forgotten the chest you lay on as you cried cause of low self esteem, the well you’d quench your thirst from whenever your lagoon dried up. I guess it’s time to get you off my oasis and leave you in your desert.
Maybe then you will remember our love …”


She was the beautiful cold sky
And he?
The pale warm horizon
Holding her up

Rubbing off unto her his radiance
Always coloring her fragrance

To be human is to love ~ Sia

Love is gravity

Love bears all things, endures all things,
Love never ends!